Monday, December 15, 2008

Watching Football in the West Is Hard

(Originally written on Sunday, Sept. 26, 2008, but later updated)

I slept until 11:15 a.m. today. Which means I actually slept until 1:15 p.m. Which means I missed the kick offs of the early NFL games.

Fuck. Watching football in the West is hard. It is also absolutely mind blowing.

On Saturday, I was invited to the house of a University of Georgia graduate here in Jackson to watch the Georgia-LSU game. The party was being hosted by my best friend's wife's work friend's best friend.

Got that?

Anyway, I am told that approximately a dozen people will be at her house to watch the Georgia-LSU game. It is the CBS game, which means it kicks off at 1:30 p.m., which means it really kicks off at 3:30 p.m. (I refuse to acknowledge Mountain Time when referring to football kickoffs.)

At approximately 1 p.m., I arrive at the house.

Inside the house, humans are struggling for dominance. There are 12 people and nine dogs. I was not prepared for this kind of human-to-pet ratio. We are almost outnumbered by these beasts.

There are dogs everywhere. In the house. On the back deck. In the kitchen.

Inside the living room, there is a high definition TV, lots of seating and about four to five girls here in Dawgs regalia. They are all UGA graduates, cheering on the Dawgs. One of them is actually shaking a pom-pom in her living room.

This is the kind of environment I thrive in.

As the afternoon progresses, I'm having really intelligent conversations with these Georgia girls about SEC football: Fulmer's job security, Vandy's descent back into mediocrity, whether or not A.J. Green is Jesus in cleats.

I feel right at home. It's almost like I'm sitting in someone's living room on Milledge Ave., except that I can see the Grand Tetons from the kitchen window.

That's the interesting part. But here's the weird part. There are about six dudes here, but none care about football at all. They are not even really watching the game, and frequently get up and walk in front of the TV screen on critical third down plays.

I think I underestimated how much it would bother me being removed from people who care about football.

I spent the last 13 years getting paid to cover SEC football. It was my job. I love the sport in weird and passionate ways.

That's why I am about to punch the guy sitting next to me at the bar during the SEC Championship game. This is actually what he actually said to me after Tebow ran the ball on 1st and goal at the 5:

"You know, that Tebow only runs the ball because he wants all the glory."

If this man had instead just turned and barfed on my arm, I would have been less disappointed in him. I felt like a 12th grader who was inexplicably sent back to 3rd grade. And here I am, an 18-year-old spending hours in a room with a bunch of 10-year-olds being told how to subtract.

Watching football in public in the Rocky Mountains (Colorado, Wyoming, etc.) is horrifying. My favorite is when a group of four walks into the bar on a Saturday night and says, "Ohhh. Look. College football. I wonder who's playing?"

Recently, I went to lunch with 10 coworkers. Five were male. There were three bowl games on and not once did any of the males look at the game or even acknowledge games were on.

I'm not sure about some of the guys out here. They're just really weird.

I am having a hard time respecting the guys out here.


At 11:54 PM, Blogger Pops said...

Did somebody say something about the Dawgs?

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